I spent the majority of the morning tossing and turning, not wanting to get out of bed. I slept last night, really good in fact, from about 3:30 AM till about 8AM. My Future-Ex-Wife (FEW for short) informed me she was going out, so I figured I'd take the quiet alone time and use it to my advantage. I don't recall dreaming last night, it was a real deep sleep, perhaps I just needed it.
So I may have a friend down for the Fourth of July weekend. Her plans suddenly changed, and so she might head to Orlando. I don't know for sure if she's coming, but I figured I better start thinking about what we'd do if she did. So here it is in no particular order:
- Epcot Center: She likes Disney, Technology, History, Interesting Foods, Beer and Travel - some of my favorites as well. I think this is the perfect destination for a full day of exploration. Epcot is not all thrill rides and cheese like most theme parks. It was actually designed to be an experimental self sufficient city of the future... What it became though is so much more intriguing. Side note: Disney did eventually make their own self sufficient city of the future - it's called Celebration. Its more like Stepford wives than a futuristic utopia. Epcot is a collection of technology based rides and attractions which take you through the past, present and future of technology. Theres the (world famous?) AT&T Communications Sphere which takes you through the history of communication from the dawn of man to the space age, Test Track: which takes you through a simulation of all the tests a new car must undergo before it reaches production (including crash tests, and high speed driving of course), Mission Space: which is the most realistic trip into space you are likely to take in your lifetime, and much more. Aside from the technology side, there is also a World Travel side. The World Travel side has buildings containing attractions which showcase the food, alcohols, and histories of 20 or so countries. The people working the attractions are actually from the countries the buildings represent. We might go to Norway for Lunch, and then the UK for some beer, or Mexico for some magarities (on the rocks if I remember right). Theres also an Aquarium inside this place. The night can be topped off with a fireworks / laser show which they will most likely have given the weekend.
- Sushi Dinner: Theres two places I go for Sushi, which I would choose I am not certain yet. Bayridge is a small traditiional place with a $20 all you can eat special. They have fancy Sushi, but their specialty by far is simple traditional sushi. Amura's is an ultra contemporary restraunt that has every type of Sushi known to man, but it is probably more like $40 a plate for dinner. They're both REALLY good, but I'd probably choose Bayride - they have awesome Unagi there.
- Other possibilities: It normally takes people about 1095 days to get completely sick of me, but it has happened sooner! Here are some other places, some which might require a short (2 hourish) roadtrip: Salvadore Dali museum, Ghost Tour of St Petersburg, The Beach, The movies, other disney parks (MGM studios - a movie like place), Universal Studios (a lot of fun, movie themed), Islands of Adventure (more thrill rides then you can shake a stick at!). Theres a hundred other places too if none of those sound appealing.
Just had one of those music induced memories... I figure I'll write about it while I'm thinking about it. I hate the fragemented nature of my thinking sometimes, but I think its probably a GOOD thing on some level. Whenever I hear Jane's Addiction, especially the slower songs, I'm brought back to my short time in Ontario California. We were near LA, but never got to go, I think we might have passed it once or twice, but I dunno. Specifically, the song Three Days reminds me of this party we had ontop of a small mountain, overlooking who knows what city. It reminded me of a scene from a movie, we had a 30 minute hike in the dark, and I think there may have been a fire up there and we all sat there talking. The view of the city was surreal, all the twinkling lights. There was very little light pollution. We got hungry and went down the mountain and a short car drive later arrived at "In and Out" (I think) and I had something called an Animal Burger I think... It was one of the best fast food hamburgers I remember.
Hunger afflicts your inner being!
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| Slot | Description | | 2: | Decrease Bagel Resist by 500 | | 3: | Decrease Icecream Resist by 500 | | 4: | Decrease Sushi Resist by 500 | | 5: | Increase Vegatable Resist by 500
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| Mana: | 400 | Skill: | Alteration | | Casting Time: | 5 | Recast Time: | 10 | | Fizzle Time: | 2.25 | Resist: | Unresistable | | Range: | 200 | Location: | Any | | Time of Day: | Any | Deletable: | No | | Dot Stacking: | Yes | Interruptable: | Yes | | Short Buff Box: | No | Target Type: | Single | | Spell Type: | Detrimental | Category: | Resist Debuffs | | Source: | Live 05/18 | |
Yeah I ate the bagel...
You have gotten better at resisting bagels (42).
The bagels smell delicious, but my will power has overcome their lures.
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Now for something that only really me, my wife, and one or two other people know... I'm getting divorced. I have not made this public knowledge yet, and I probably will not for the time being. It is a big step for me to say it though I believe. We have been talking about getting divorced for over a year now, and yesterday, we finally started laying out the details of how it will work. This is the first relationship I have ever had which looks like it will end amicably. My wifes a person too, and she doesn't deserve to be screwed over by the end of a longterm relationship. She's promised not to screw me over as well, so I'm happy with what we've worked out.
Basically, she'll take custody of the kids, and if we do any sort of childsupport, it will be under the table. Well kid really, only one is mine. This state likes to screw fathers over, so this is an important agreement for us to have. We'll sell the house - its appreciated enough to give me enough us both enough money to live a year without any sort of employment if necessary. We'll go our seperate ways.
I'm through playing the blame game about whose fault the relationship was, because really, whenever two people get together, one cannot be totally at fault. You both have free will, and if you choose to remain trapped, well its just that, a choice. It wasn't feasible for me financially to leave... I cannot in good concience abandon two children and their mother without work, without a place to live, etc... So thats why we came up with the agreement we did. She will finish out her schooling (she wants to be a mortician) and find a job, not necessarily in this state. It might even be necessary for her to leave to go to school. Good medical colleges aren't always local. My own goals... well lets just say longterm they don't involve Florida.
The timeframe is somewhat flexible for this split.. but I think having it out in the open will allow us to become friends again. Theres no longer any expectations from one another. Thats the best way to be I've learned.
So what went wrong? Well, its what I spent all last night thinking about... I think all of my reflection paid off, because I feel like I can answer this question. However, instead of answering it in a past tense, I'll simply answer the question "What would I do if I had to do it again?"
First of all, I wouldn't get involved with somebody so young. My wife was only 19 when I met her (I was 24), and well, she had a lot to learn about the world, and still does. I'd want someone who has their own income, or at least the ability to earn one. I'm through supporting people - it takes them too long to get up on their feet. I'd keep seperate bank accounts. We'd have three. We'd each have a personal one, and a joint one to pay bills. Money is the root of many relationship problems, if one person makes more they often feel they have the run of the house... I think this would prevent situations like that.
I'd throw all the roles out the window. Husband and wife are terms that are best left in the 40s. Its always depicted a sort of master and servant role where the wife is expected to be subservient to the husband. Even my marriage detoriated into this - out of necessity perhaps because she didn't work. Women are not for scrubbing dishes, cooking food, and doing laundry. You can get a maid if you expect women to do this for you :p. Having a woman subserviant to you also makes them resent you, not at first, but eventually they will. If they get a little busy and your socks do not get cleaned, well, thats an argument waiting to happen. If you are responsible for your own stuff, then thats an argument avoided.
We'd be friends first, and lovers later. This is one of the things I actually did right this past time. As our romantic relationship deteriorated, we always had this, and even though we hated each other at times, I don't think we'd ever do each other any harm.
Well, saying all of this has certainly taken a load off of my chest. So I go off into the future, with as little expectation as possible, knowing that the future is mine alone to shape.
I'm reposting a portion of my privately flagged blog for the benefit of a friend. I wrote it at 9 am this morning when I got into work. It is a bit raw, forgive me.
Yesterday, I chatted with the most amazing woman. She's my age, shares an incredible amount of interests, and she's cute to boot. She loves sushi, rare beef, japanese, chinese, italian foods etc, foodwise we're very compatible. She loves roleplaying games, and writing, as do I. Audis, surround sound, etc... Oh, and she's a computer geek! I never thought I'd meet another person who considered Zork to be their favorite computer game. Who knew women played computer games 20 years ago - certainly not my male buddies and I. LOL. We talked for 8 hours on and off yesterday, and I can't wait to talk to her again. I cannot remember the last time I've connected with someone like this... I found a new friend I guess ;).
It occured to me the other day after I blogged that I have no privacy. I did a nice write up about what my wife did for me for Father's Day and I got it all thrown back in my face later on in the day as a negative writeup... "What you would change something about my cake if you made it?!" So I asked myself, do I need another blog? How many blogs do I need? Where does it all end?
The answer as far as I can tell is as follows. You need 3 blogs. One for friends and family, one for your other friends, and one for yourself. This blog will be for my other friends. The ones I do not feel the need to lie to or put up a facade for. The ones whom I wish I could hang out with in real life.
